How do I Talk With My Partner about Birth Control?
Talking about birth control and STIs can be difficult, but it’s important to have open discussions with your partner about any sex-related issue. If you feel you can’t talk to your partner about birth control, pregnancy, and STIs, you might want to rethink whether you’re ready for sex with that person. If they can’t handle a talk about birth control, how will they handle an unintended pregnancy? Here are a few tips on how to make the conversation as relaxed and productive as possible:
Do your research: Use our Get a Quote quiz to find the method that is right for you or find a Clinic Near You and talk to a health care provider first. The more you know about your birth control options, the more confident you will be for the conversation.
Practice makes perfect: Plan out what you want to say and make a list. Practice your opening lines out loud so you feel comfortable. Remember; if you are honest, calm and clear your partner will likely respond in the same way.
Make a plan: Set up a time and place where you can have privacy without being interrupted or rushed. Some people find it easier to have this conversation on the telephone or while you’re both in the car – so you can avoid eye contact without seeming awkward.
It’s all about respect: Ask your partner what he/she is thinking about and feeling and his/her opinions and suggestions, but don’t feel you need to compromise your own values or morals. Make sure to be clear that you will not have sex without using a method of birth control. If you are in a situation where you do not want your partner to know you are using birth control, the S.O.D.S FAQs has some ideas to help you.
What to Say
- Talk about why using birth control consistently and appropriately every time you have sex is important to you.
- Let your partner know that being able to have pleasurable sex means having protected sex – having sex without having to worry about any surprises.
- Talk about which birth control methods will work best for you, how those methods work and how those methods will affect your partner (if they will).
- Be clear about your expectations! It’s okay to say, “I will not have sex with you unless we use birth control consistently and appropriately every time we have sex.”
- Discuss the “what-ifs.” What if the birth control method(s) fail? What if an unexpected pregnancy happens?
- Don’t forget to talk about how you will protect yourselves against STI’s; not all birth control options provide this protection. Your number one option is using a condom. Also, think about getting tested with your partner. It can be a great bonding experience. You can set up an appointment together at your local Health Care Provider.
What if My Partner Doesn’t Want to Use Birth Control?
If your partner refuses to use birth control, you might want to rethink whether you should be having sex with this person. But if you think they just need a little more persuasion, here are some points to discuss:
- Tell your partner that you can have more pleasurable sex knowing you are both protected.
- Tell your partner you want to use birth control not only for your protection, but also for theirs.
- Make sure your partner understands that if he/she is unwilling to use birth control that they are saying to you that they are prepared to become a parent or to have an STI. Are you both ready to become parents?
- Make it clear that you will not have sex without using birth control.
It’s Never Too Late
If you ever find yourself getting close to having sex and you aren’t protected – it’s not too late. Saying something like, “We need a condom … I want to have sex,” will clue your partner in without losing any of the heat of the moment. Keep a stash of condoms handy in case your partner doesn’t have one. Keep in mind, condoms might require a bit more discussion than some other birth control methods, but they can protect you and your partner against some STIs. Learn more about using and talking about condoms in Stork Insurance.
